Oh yeah, by the way "we're" pregnant...

Except that if you're been in touch with us, this is old news by now - especially as I'm now 30+ weeks along so Baby's official due date is less than 10 weeks away. I'm really hoping it's less than 10 weeks... like maybe the earliest possible date for a full term baby.

And yes, we do know the gender, and no, we're not keeping it a secret - but some of our friends (including my midwife) have expressed the desire to not know, so out of respect for those people I still call the little one Baby Snare instead of "he" or "she" although I have let it slip a few times now.

Names are all picked too - that one IS our little secret til Baby's born.

Why do guys get to say "we're pregnant", anyway? WE'RE? Who decided that? Shouldn't it be "she's"? I know James has the important job of fetching me Milo or ice cream almost every night, but that is seriously nowhere near as tough as carrying this little tyke around in my belly daily! :P

But at least he bought me a nice, modern rocking chair! They're called gliders these days. And I'm sitting in it right now!

Okay, well not in the photo itself. But you get the idea. The matching footstool glides in time with the chair too - ultra-cool!

"I knew you were going to say that!"

This is a phrase James and I often say to each other. Another common one is, "I was just thinking that too!"

I find it fascinating that after 3 years of marriage (we celebrate our 3rd anniversary a week from today) we often think the same thing at the same time. This phenomenon becomes particularly apparent when travelling in the car or during ad breaks on TV, when one of us will make a particular observation, to which the other will respond, "that's what I was just thinking!"

Even less coincidental is when an event or observation reminds both of us of the same thing that needed doing or discussing. The two may be mildly related but are unrelated enough to still generate surprise that the other was thinking the same thing.

And then there's that ability we seem to possess to accurately predict the other person's reaction to an event, comment or joke.

Is it just us or does it happen to you too?

Manila Musings

I feel tall and medium here, a far cry from my short and little situation in Australia. I’m at least half a head taller than most of the local women – that makes me “tall”. Jeans sizes in stores start at around 25… I am a size 27 – that makes me “medium”. I am sure that I’ve seen Filipinas that could be a size 24 or even 23. I think many of them would be unable to purchase clothing in their size in Australia, except perhaps in the children’s departments.

***

They think I’m Filipino. People here keep speaking to me in Tagalog. This used to happen to me a lot when I lived in Hong Kong too so that didn’t surprise me. However, what I do find funny is that the locals keep talking to me instead of James. After finishing our lunch at one restaurant, James asked for the bill. The waitress confirmed this request by asking me, “do you want the bill?” When she returned with the bill, she handed it to me. I passed it to James and he paid for it. The change was then promptly returned to me. Is it because they think I’m Filipino, or because the females usually take care of the bills in this culture? I’m not sure.

***

Being Asian, I dislike being overcharged… immensely! Whilst I recognise that prices in the Philippines are cheap by Australian standards, there is an innate part of me that is unwilling to pay a Peso more than I believe I’m supposed to. This is one of those things that reminds James and I that we actually do possess cultural differences within our characteristics - Western James thinks to himself, “so what if I’m being overcharged, it’s only 5 dollars!” whereas I think, “a local would be paying only half this much, how dare they try to take advantage of us!”

***

We met not one, but two honest taxi drivers. I am used to Malaysian taxi drivers trying to rip us off – Filipino taxi drivers seem to be more honest than their Malaysian counterparts. Both offered us their services to the airport for P2000, but upon learning our departure time, advised that we take the bus (P300 per person). Had we been in Malaysia, the taxi drivers would most definitely have attempted to convince us that the bus would be too slow, traffic on the bus route would be shocking, and we would inevitably miss our flight if we didn’t choose their reasonably-priced taxi services and make use of their knowledge of the much faster back route.

Fi's Picture Perfect Day Off

Before I attempt to describe my perfect day off, I must also preface that I am not so unreasonable to believe or expect that what I am about to describe could possibly come true. But for the purposes of this post, let's assume we live in a world where I can edit the parameters of reality however I please.

I would start my perfect day off sleeping in until 10am, but being able to rewind time to 6am so that I could get in a morning run, weights workout, shower and do my hair and makeup all in time to head off for a massive day out shopping by 9am.

I would be having a perfect hair day, my makeup would look fabulous with very little effort and it would not rub off, wear out or smudge in the slightest. The weather would be perfect - warm enough for me not to have to bring a jacket but cool enough not to induce sweat. Definitely sunny, and definitely no rain or wind. My outfit would not only look great in, but be perfectly comfortable, including my stiletto high heels. After a full day of walking around in stiletto heels I would not have sore feet in the slightest.

I would head to an imaginary suburb somewhere in Melbourne which contained a street filled with all my favourite stores. They would all be having massive, never-to-be-seen-again sales. On that particular day, every store would have just received a shipment of their latest season, so not only would there be lots of great stuff, they would actually have my size in stock during the sale period, for once!

I would proceed to shop til I dropped because a billionaire would have given me a credit card to make purchases on for that day, and that day only. I would purchase items at bargain prices, including but not be limited to Nike sportswear, several pairs of ASICS runners, at least 2-3 evening gowns (not dresses... gowns!) complete with matching shoes and coat, a designer watch and several jewelery items containing the best quality diamonds ever (e.g. a diamond ring, tennis bracelet and gorgeous earrings and necklace to go with my new evening dresses).

Food that accompanies such a perfect day could only be -

Breakfast: Nut & Seed Muesli with Flaxseed Oil & Natural Yoghurt OR a Vanilla Protein-powered cherry shake whizzed up using a Bamix (or if I didn't have a Bamix yet, this would definitely be one of my purchases).

Lunch: Salad consisting of lots and lots and lots of veggies, salmon, avocado, and some cheese

Dinner: I would meet James at one of the best restaurants in town where we would enjoy the most stunning cuisine (probably Duck or some form of exquisitely prepared red meat). I would even have dessert - the richest, naughtiest chocolate cake ever topped with thick, rich King Island Dairy cream, and it would be perfectly okay to eat this because on this perfect day chocolate cake is actually good for you and filled with lots of vitamins, minerals, antioxidants and all sorts of other healthy things (and the calories in the cake would not count for some extraordinarily unexplainable reason).

After dinner we would watch a movie at the cinemas, probably Gold Class style. In fact, this would actually be where we had dessert (but the dessert would not be from the Gold Class kitchen it would be from the restaurant where we had dinner) and I would not have to focus on not dropping cake in my lap, it just magically wouldn't happen. We would watch a Romantic Comedy and it would be a good one.

I would be transported everywhere I went by Limousine, and I would wear one of my new evening dresses to dinner because the restaurant would require Black Tie attire only. And everywhere I went an invisible professional photographer would be following me, to take photos to document my perfect day in the most beautifully presented photo album ever.

Oh, yeah... somewhere in my day I would somehow squeeze in a Hot Air Balloon ride, sometime right before sunrise. James would definitely be there with me on the balloon ride. I would probably do all the shopping without him though - it makes a perfect day for me but would be a horrific experience for him.

My Day Off

It suddenly occurred to me as I was sitting here today that Fiona and I have noticeably different approaches to our days off. So in my (hopefully) successful return to the world of blogging I'd like to post my perfect day off. I'm sure Fiona will return with a post of her soon.

Disclaimer: This is a perfect day off when I have the house to myself and don't have my beautiful, wonderful, funny, loving wife with me. My perfect day off with Fiona is not something that I would necessarily share with the world at large :)

I like to start my perfect day off with a perfectly prepared big breakfast. Sausages, eggs, toast, tomatoes, mushrooms and a vanilla or chocolate milkshake (depending on what mood I'm in).

Next I'd like to read the paper or a good novel if I'm currently engaged with one at the time. An essential part of my perfect day off would be that the dishes would be done without me actually doing them. I'm not sure how this would happen but I clearly envision going throughout the day without having to worry about it.

As I moved into the late morning I'd like to explore what is on cable television. Seeing as this is my perfect day off I'd discover that there is either poker or an American football game on TV.
I would have a truly great burger and fries while watching some awesome hands or the Green Bay Packers clinch a victory in a high scoring game in the fourth quarter.

After watching either of these for a couple of hours I would be picked up by a friend
who I would go trapezing with. I've only done this once but I had so much fun that I would have to make it a part of my best day off.

I would then return home to watch a seriously man's man movie with lots of great one liners and awesome action scenes. (see my previous post about what I want in a good movie). Possibly while eating a great pizza.

Finally I would have my closest friends around to play poker and drink some beer or bourbon and coke with while eating salt and vinegar chips. I would of course take all of my friends money (though not too much) and win the night with a supreme move in the final hand.

It made not sound like much but it sounds pretty darn good to me.

Love to hear what you think.

Coming Soon...

We have been too busy training for a half marathon together to blog. But in hindsight James' take on said half-marathon versus mine would be an interesting discussion. This post exists to help YOU keep US accountable to write about this experience!

In the meantime... check out my newest favourite SnareShot in the left hand column.

Of Men and Multi-tasking

Who says men can't multi-task?

Right now, both James and I are studying. Or should I say, I am supposed to be studying right now. We both study part-time ~ a law degree for James, a personal trainer certification for me ~ which means right now he's trying to learn a bunch of law-related stuff and I'm taking a brief break from learning the names and actions of every muscle in the human body.

My study environment:

• Room: the study
• Location: the desk
• Noise levels: it's quiet (so I can concentrate - music just distracts me)
• Conclusion: I am alone with my thoughts, my textbook, and the colouring pencils I am using to help my identify various muscle groups.

James' study environment:

• Room: the living room
• Location: in front of the TV
• Noise levels: audio commentary on tonight's football game
• Conclusion: James is alone with his thoughts, his textbook, and the commentators and spectators live from the football stadium
  

Who says men can't multi-task?

I must concede though, that James has learnt a few things in our 2.5yrs of marriage... thanks to my wonderful influence by example of course.

For example, most of us women like to do something productive in front of the television, such as folding laundry, ironing, or even scrapbooking for the more creative ladies. Men, on the other hand, like to sit in front of the television and do nothing else, claiming that they must focus 100% on it because they "can't multi-task".

James, on the other hand, has been known to occasionally be productive whilst watching TV ~ this typically occurs when he's re-watching one of his favourite movies or watching his newest Smallville DVD purchases.

I can only draw two possible conclusions from James' odd behaviour:

1. After 2.5yrs of marriage, James is still trying to impress me
2. James is some sort of modern day super-man, able to do what no other man can do
   

Her Movies

Now this may not be the case with all girls, but it is with this one - most of the time, the content of the movie itself is not necessarily so important as the entire experience of "going to the movies". I mean, of course the movie choice plays a part (as you'll see mentioned later) because it contributes to the experience. But there is just so much more to movie-going... I mean, we pay so much these days for a single movie ticket, so we should make the best of it!

So, yes, James, guys and girls probably do have very different approaches to movies. For me, the five (5) most important things about "The Movies" are:

5. Entertainment value. Movie choice is definitely important. After all, did you ever go see a movie you didn't enjoy at all and come out thinking what a great time you just had?

Side note: I personally do not go to a movie to write a critique, or check out a director's directing skills, or monitor a story-writer's ability to write a riveting plot that links all the bits together in a way that artfully ties fiction in with enough reality to satisfy my sense of being. No. I go to the movies for one main reason: to have a good time. To enjoy myself. To be entertained. I don't want to know the details right after the movie because if I then discover that maybe it wasn't really that well put together, it can dampen my sense of how entertained I really was. James.

Side note 2: If you are good at figuring out the major plot point of a movie only 5 minutes into it, don't tell the person you are at the movies with just so you can prove that you figured it out before it was revealed. Maybe you'll prove your skill but other people won't enjoy it so much anymore. James.

4. Climate control. The cinema should be not too hot, yet not too cold. Shivering may cause us to expend more energy whilst sitting in our seats, thus enabling us to eat more popcorn and chocolate... but this is not enough to make up for the decrease in enjoyment factor. I find that even in summer, a jumper is a great thing to add to my cinema-kit.

3. Snacks. I've said it before, I'll say it again - it's all about the experience. I mean, what is a movie experience without the savoury aromas of popcorn, the sweet taste of M&Ms that melt in your mouth and not your hand, and the cool feel of a choc top sliding effortlessly down your throat?

2. Comfortable seats. James very well knows that there are particular cinemas I don't enjoy going to as much, even if they are cheaper (which normally appeals to my Asian, penny-saving heritage), simply because the chairs are too old and sunken to be the slightest bit comfortable enough to endure for over an hour.

1. Good company. Let's face it, what is the point of the entire experience - the big screen, the popcorn, chocolate and ice-cream, the large comfy seats - without someone to share that experience with?

His Movies

Having been so encouraged by the comment from Luke, I could not help but want to quickly send out another post into cyberspace. A friend of mine recently brought the Chuck Norris facts to my attention and after laughing incredibly hard it got me thinking about the different approaches that guys and girls have to movies. I'm just as curious to read Fiona's response as you are.

So here I am to publish the top five things that a guy is looking for when going to the movies.

1. Action. This is so obvious that it hardly needs mentioning but it is worth mentioning why guys in general want action. The answer? Because we want to do everything that James Bond does with the Walther PPK 7.5mm. Every guy wants to believe he can be Braveheart, Gladiator, Aragorn... or if there is nothing better on TV, one of Van Damme's forgettable performances (see Leon the Lion in 'Lionheart' an incredibly bad but incredibly mesmorising performance). Ladies, you gotta let your man be a man at the movies.

2. Cool lines. Again, every guy wants to have the kick butt line to drop at just the right moment. The trick is being able to say it without coming off as incredibly lame (again see 'Lionheart', I can't remember if there are any bad lines but I'm sure there would be). It's also great when a line is so cool or funny that it can be said in real life.

3. Romance. Before I'm dismissed as some sort of sissy girl, let me explain. Guys actually are inspired by seeing a guy that they genuinely like hook up with a girl that they genuinely like. Guys aren't opposed to romance, we're just repulsed by a mushy, effeminate and soppy version of romance. In '10 Things I Hate About You' when Heath Ledger sings to Julia Stiles with the marching band kicking in at the chorus, thats flippin' poetry. Any guy that says different is probably insecure.

4. Something to do with playing cards. I don't know why but whenever there is a hero or a villain that can play cards, do card tricks or use playing cards as weapons, I'm almost always prepared to pay the price of admission. This admittedly could just be me and not all guys.

5. Inspiration. I want to walk out of a movie being inspired to do something. I remember walking out at the end of 'Pirates of the Caribbean' and wanting to jump on top of cars while swashbuckling my unseen opponents. Fiona tried to pretend she didn't know me as I smoothly took care of the entire crew of the Black Pearl in the parking lot but I remember thinking "Man, that was a great movie!'

10 Things Fi is good at

In no particular order:

**Laughing louder than anyone else in the cinema

**Making me laugh through the power of her personality quirks (see No. 3 below)

**Encouraging advertising executives by responding with more wonder and desire to commercials than anyone else on the planet

**Sleeping

**Giving Christmas and birthday presents (Thanks for the Wii Fi)

**Encouraging me to stay fit by simply working so hard herself

**Forgiving me for making the same mistakes over and over again

**Being silly when she thinks no one else is watching

**Saying incredibly nice things in public about me and letting me steal them to say back to her (see No. 10)

**Being the best wife in the whole wide world!

10 things James is good at

In no particular order:

**Making me laugh

**Being very (very, very!) patient with me

**Lying on my side of the bed just before bedtime to warm it up for me, and also making me a hot water bottle

**Karaoke ~ 12 out of 10 for stage presence, 20 out of 10 for enthusiasm

**Accidentally hurting me without even trying

**Forgetting to turn the oven off ~ at least 4 times in 2006 we discovered that James accidentally left the oven on, sometimes for as long as 3 days

**Telling lame "Dad" jokes (the scary thing is, he's not a Dad yet!)

**Adding enthusiasm to anything, even the most boring task in the world

**Being a good sport, as opposed to me, the sore loser (I don't know how he puts up with playing games with me; I'm often not happy because I dislike losing and he usually wins, so ironically it can become a lose-lose situation. I'm getting a *little* better though, promise!)

**Being the best husband in the whole wide world!

His Shopping

After careful consideration I have been able to think of three things that I dislike more than shopping for hours and hours on end. Having my fingernails pulled, having my toenails pulled and watching Anne of Green Gables.

As a guy, shopping for me is somewhat akin to hunting. I have a mission, it's best if it's taken care of quickly and if some innocent animals are killed on the way then so be it.

Now, to be fair, when the need arises I can 'hunt' for a bargain and I can even seek out the 'perfect' gift. What kills me however is the kind of shopping where one isn't necessarily looking for anything in particular. Where one has a vague idea of something they might want but no specific sense. For example, a dress, or pants or a top depending on what the fashion is during any designated week. Worse than that though is stopping to look at every other item in the store while seeking these vague items.

Believe it or not (and embarrassing as it may be) I can now walk into a ladies clothing store and if i know what I'm looking for, quickly determine if there is anything which Fi might be interested in. I can even spot things that she misses. This is of course part of the hunting side of shopping. The challenge is to get in, get out, strike at the cash register if we find something worthwhile and quickly move onto lunch.

To Fi's credit she has improved dramatically at being more 'mission oriented' in her shopping when I'm in attendance. For all you guys reading this however I will finish with my top five tips for surviving an afternoon of shopping with the Mrs:

5. Have a snack to keep your energy levels up. The whole experience is worse if you're hungry.
4. Have easily accessible reading material with you. A magazine or paperback works best.
3. When you find one of the truly great stores that actually has seats outside the change rooms, encourage your girl to try on as many items as she likes in this store. Rest while you can.
2. Help your girl with a smile on your face - she stays positive and you help things get done quicker.
1. Tell her she looks good in everything unless you know 100% she's not going to take it personally. She knows if she doesn't look good in something and at least she knows your trying to be nice. She'll tell you that she wants honesty but I'd rather say nice things and have her call me a liar :)

Her Shopping

I love shopping! For most people, shopping may mean spending a lot of money. For me, that is not necessarily the case ~ money-spending may be involved, but lots of it? Forget it!

I love a bargain! It is a great feeling to pick up an item of clothing at a bargain price. I will hunt high and low for an item of clothing or an accessory that not only fits me well, but fits my budget too. One of my favourite purchases this year was a magazine entitled Bargain Shoppers Guide to Melbourne 2006. Doesn't that say it all?

In order to find such a bargain, time is required. Sometimes I have a specific item (and price) in mind, and other times the search for a bargain buy can take longer because I'm "just looking around". Both forms of shopping have their advantages and disadvantages.

Some people might see shopping as a waste of time. But for me, it is therapeutic. When I am having a stressful day (or week, or month) shopping gives me an outlet to work off some of that pent-up stress.

There is someone else I know who enjoys shopping ~ my brother! Growing up, we used to peruse the markets and street vendors of Hong Kong together. So when I married James, I naturally assumed that he would enjoy shopping. Much to my surprise and dismay, our shopping sprees had the opposite effect on James to me ~ they caused him stress!

Two years and three months of marriage later, we are getting better at working together on this issue. James will tell you that he doesn't enjoy shopping, but I know he does... I've witnessed him spending time at the comic book store perusing the shelves for ages, finally walking away with one or two choice comics. Maybe he doesn't call that shopping, but I certainly do!

So, James, we may be different, but in some ways we are also strangely alike. It's just about finding your niche.

Snarchives re-made, re-vamped and re-posted

With the creation of Lawman and the existence of all things F, James and I were beginning to wonder what would become of The Snarchives.

And so in our wanderings we have stumbled across a brilliant new idea. My nickname for it is "His Post, Her Post". Call it whatever you want ~ we seek not just to enlighten our readers, but to entertain as well.

And so you will begin to see posts here based on topics in which James and I have (sometimes vastly) differing views. Some of these views may be gender-related, others cultural. Whatever the case, our aim is to have some fun, engage in some playful banter, and show the world that not only can opposites attract, they can also disagree and still get along!

The Adventures of Law Man

I have stumbled upon my blogging muse. I have sat here for the last ten minutes starting blogs and then realising they were hopelessly boring (or at leastly mildly unentertaining) but now I have my inspiration. I have stumbled upon an idea for a blog, a blog so big that I don't know if this place called cyberspace is ready for it. A blog bound to be so blogular that it could change the face of the universe (or my suburb) as we know it. This blog will serial the Adventures of Lawman!

That's right, James Snare may appear to be a mild mannered campus pastor but for 28 weeks out of the year (plus exams) he becomes Lawman, a part time university student. He is an undercover agent, walking the fine line between minister and student, delving deeply into both worlds . His life is a tangle of ministry appointments and academic assignments constantly requiring James to change back and forth from passionate pastor to the ever studious Lawman, inevitably leading him to question his true identity. Is he Pastor James or is he Lawman? Can these two parts of his complicated psyche ever be reconciled or will they be in constant war with one another? What will the result be for Fiona, his loving wife, bound to this heroic, yet oh so complex soul?

To answer these questions you must stay tuned to the all new Adventures of Lawman. His motto? "Whether by God's grace or man's law... there will be justice for all."

Giant Gelati

On Tuesday, James and I went out for dinner to Sofia's in Camberwell with some of his friends from uni.

After some delicious pizza - which in my opinion is much nicer than the pizza at La Porchetta, and ever since I discovered Sofia's over 2 years ago I haven't been back to La Porchetta - we perused the dessert menu.

Sofia's serving of Gelati must be the hugest in town:

The multiple spoons in James and my gelati demonstrate that this was probably supposed to be for more than two people to share. I think it could easily feed a family of four, and possibly even six!

Needless to say, long before we finished I had to stop eating, as did Sarah (pictured right with Chris). The serving was so huge that James and Chris might not have finished it off either, if it weren't for Chris' challenge to James to a race to the end.

Priced at only $5.50, this is beyond a bargain. And it didn't taste like low quality gelati... which leads me to wonder, how much of a profit margin are most ice-cream and gelati stores making out there?

Blogger in Beta

I can be such an impatient person sometimes! I am sitting on the edge of my seat waiting for the day that my blogger dashboard tells me I can switch my account to Blogger Beta. I created a Beta account months ago and started a blog there to test it out. It has since become my main blog to write in because the publishing function on Blogger Beta is so much more efficient.

I love Blogger Beta. I know that the superb Google team is working hard to get things switched over, and I just can't wait. I am even subscribed to the Blogger Buzz blog through my Google Reader, just so I can get the updates as soon as they come through!

Yes, and the rest of you think I'm some crazy psycho addicted to the internet. Truth is, I'm actually addicted to anything Google. I am currently using or testing many of their services (thanks to their wonderful "technology playground", Google Labs), and they all rock.

I am also proud to say my influence must be rubbing off on people a little - not too long ago I received an invite in my email inbox from a friend's Google Calendar. This particular gadget is so awesome! I not only can access my calendar from anywhere in the world online, but I can manage RSVPs with it.

Just the sort of thing that rocks MY world!

Personality Profiles

At the recent Every Nation South Pacific Leaders Conference we all participated in a personality profile called the DiSC test. It is by far the most insightful personality profile that I have ever participated in. Despite the fact that it was an incredibly brief run through, it was still a lot of fun and very informative.

There are four main types of personality that the test identifies, Dominant, Inspirational, Stability and Conscientiousness. These are loose descriptions of what each personality is like and of course there many different combinations of the different personalities. I am a dominant/ inspirational and fit one of the classic profiles calles the "result-orientated" person.

Some people don't like personality profiles because they don't like being "boxed" in, or they don't like being "labelled". To be honest I think that this is a slightly pridefule perspective. God has given each of us a unique personality and created each of us differently from one another. He has also used different experiences and environments to shape us along the way. This does not mean that there are not similarities between us.

Similarities and common basic styles of perspective can be empiracally proven to exist. Personality profiles do not rob us of our individuality nor take our ability to choose how we live. They can give us an excellent understanding of how God made us and what our strengths and weaknesses are. They don't mean that we can't change nor that we can't adapt and behave differently in different situations. In fact, understanding more about ourselves can enable us to adapt more effectively in different situations.

What I like most about the DiSC profile is that it helps you not only understand yourself but also how others can perceive you. For example, as a dominant-inspirational I can come across as uncaring or angry in pressure situations. Knowing that means I can work at not coming across that way.

The important thing to remember is that just because I have a particular personality type doesn't mean that I can use that as an excuse, "I'm a D-type and thats just the way i am. Deal with it." for example. Rather I have to work on my strengths and my weakness together.

So if any of you get the chance to participate in the DiSC test I highly recommend it. For those of you that know Nelli Atiga, it was actually his new wife Tina, who took us through it :)

Other Half of Me

Tonight is the first of three nights that James is away in New Zealand for a staff conference. And boy, am I feeling lonely.

So I started to think about what I have planned for the next few days to pass the time. For tonight, I rented a movie. Tomorrow, I'll take my time at the gym in the morning and then I'm meeting a friend for lunch. In the evening I have band practise. On Friday I'm making a trial meal at Meal Magic. I might also treat myself and try out one of those massages in those Asian-run stores you can find in most shopping centres. In the evening I have a social to attend. I have no idea at this point what to do with my Saturday, but worst case scenario I can always play with fizzykal, my Neopet or update my MySpace page. In the evening I'm going to a "girls' night in" fundraiser event for breat cancer research.

As I thought about these next few days, I started to wonder, why am I spending most of this time alone? Do I have no friends? Has becoming married caused me to fail in the area of building extra-marital friendships? I typically spend my Fridays and Saturdays with James. Now that he's not here I have no one to spend it with. Well, I did try to schedule time with another friend on Friday afternoon but she had to cancel for completely understandable reasons.

Then revelation hit me. The kind of loneliness I am feeling tonight goes far beyond what I felt in my high school days. Back then, if my best friend went away on holiday for a week or more, I would miss having my favourite activity partner to hang out with.

But James is not just my best friend, he's so much more. He's my other half. When he's not around I feel like a part of me is missing. This statement may sound rather cliche but I must concede that it completely describes how I feel tonight, despite my personal dislike of all things cliche.

If you are not yet married and you've been angry at a friend because you felt he/she abandoned you because once he/she got married you two weren't as close anymore, there's something you need to understand. If your best friend were asked by his/her company to relocate to another country, you probably wouldn't quit your job and rearrange your life to move with him/her. You don't share all your money in a single bank account. You don't need to consider his/her schedule when planning other things. You might be the best of friends, but you don't share a life. Once you get married, you and your spouse will no longer lead separate lives. You will lead only one life, together.

I've had my share of very close girl and guy friends. But not one single one of them comes close to my friendship with James. No one else knows me like he does, no one else understands me like he does. No one else knows the REAL me, because no one spends even half as much time with me. And if I were asked to consider moving to another continent, I wouldn't just up and go and leave James behind. No! We would discuss our options and make a decision TOGETHER and carry it out TOGETHER.

So tonight, half of me is missing, and that half is somewhere across the ocean in a far away land. When I was single I never thought I would say this because I never knew about it's truth. No amount of activity or Neopets or MySpace will fill this empty space, it will only temporarily distract from the feeling of emptiness which will inevitably return when it's time to go to bed alone.

If you are not yet married, I hope one day you will experience what I am experiencing. Not because I want you to feel hopelessly lonely, but because the only reason you could possibly feel this lonely is because you have as wonderful a relationship with your spouse as I do!

James, I can't wait for you to come home!

Treetop Unlikely

I love Google! But I hate.... HATE SPAM!

Where did they get my email address from in the first place? Especially my work email address! I've been getting heaps of spam at my work email address (more spam than actual emails) and it doesn't even make sense because I don't use it for anything except... well, work.

And the email headings don't even make sense, headings such as "soapy someone", "intake unfamiliar", "treetop unlikely" and "softball discontinuation". It's like they came up with their email titles by taking two random words from the dictionary and combining them together. And to top it off, every email is from a different email address.

I know it's from the same people despite the different email addresses, because the email has the same look every time.

Does anyone know how I can trace the source of these emails so I can spam them back? Okay I don't really want to spam them back, that would be quite immature. But then again, maybe I don't want to be mature!

This is why - please, please, PLEASE if you find it necessary to send a mass email learn to use the 'bcc' section! I love you and I love your emails, but I hate spam!